Being single is beautiful. It can be fulfilling and it awards one so much freedom to reflect on who they are and what they want.
But there comes a time when we all need some affection in our lives, someone to help us cope with this life. However, some South African women find it difficult to keep a man, it could be one, two, if not all of the reasons below:
1. Waiting for the perfect man
The struggle for most ladies to find the all-rounded men is real. The question for one to ask themselves is; “Am I an all-rounder as well?” The truth is, if you can’t be perfect yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to be. We all have flaws, but we learn to embrace and live with them. All you need to do is just to find someone whose demons play well with yours. Even the seemingly delicious Christian Grey had dark imperfections no one knew about.
2. Unrealistic expectations
Entering a relationship with the mentality to give is way much better than doing it with expectations from the other party. It is advisable to lead by example, if you want the man to love you, show some respect, men love humble women. Women shouldn’t compare themselves to men, they say look at what the man does, and do the opposite.
3. Extreme self-love
Independence is great, we actually encourage it. But remember, too much of anything can make you sick, even the good can be your curse. It is okay for you to love yourself, but don’t give the man an impression that he cannot love you more than you do you, it’s uncomfortable for men as it makes them feel belittled.
We are not saying you shouldn’t love yourself, but don’t be condescending while you are at it. Pompous women are a turn off to men.
4. Lack of femininity
As much as we talk about 50/50 in the manner that we do, the truth is, in relationships, this will never be. One needs to be the man, and the other needs to be feminine, you in this case. We find ourselves challenging the position of the men in our lives, which then creates daily arguments that lead to resentment. Once it gets to the stage of a man being resentful towards you, it gets really hard to win back his affection.
5. Hung up on Mr. Wrong
The mentality that says just because you have a child with him, you should stick with him even when he messes up with your feelings. The truth is, no child has ever guaranteed a lifespan of any relationship. We also seem not to mind being the side-chicks, as long as he takes care of me and keeps promising me that he will leave his current partner for me. This mentality will also see people living their lives being the other women, because the odds of any man leaving his partner for the side-chick are very slim.
The good guy More often than not, we find ourselves having male friends and we know that they are great guys at that, but they are friends and nothing more. It’s sad how we want the bad boys, and lock the good men in the friendzone department.
7. Once bitten, twice shy
After it has all been said and done, we should also acknowledge that some women are afraid of opening up because of their past experiences in relationships. If that’s the case, then some detox is needed. At some point, we all need to clean out our closet, throw the old rags away, and make way for a whole new wardrobe full of love.