I interrupted. “This is how it’s going to go. Firstly you can toss the covers off you as you won’t be needing them. Then you can call Charles and tell him he won’t be needed. Then you will come to me on this chair where I will spank that little ass of your red. Then I will have my way with you, and that fucking sexy ass of yours.” She dropped the covers knowing she was caught. “Yes James.” she said without a fight.
OK I was 19 so I would just about fuck anything and everything that female with a pulse. My family wasn’t short of money but the trade-off was that I lost Dad, most of the time through work commitments. And when Mum had had enough of him I lost her too. She packed her bags and left.
I’m not complaining, lots of money has it benefits but they don’t replace a family and one becomes selfish. I guess its monkey see monkey do sort of thing. All I know is I got what I wanted and when I wanted it.
On the day in question Dad or as the staff called him, Mr Mason, was away again but this time he had left his new girlfriend behind in our home. Her name was Buffy, and as the name suggests she wasn’t one that would hit the top level on an I.Q scale chart. But she was32 and totally sexy. She spent her days between yoga or and pilates and ate nothing but health food and her body showed it.
Dad had been away for a week already when I walked past their bedroom door. I heard the unmistakable of a vibrator humming and imagined it going to work on Buffy’s sweet pussy. I listened closer with my ear on the door.
“Yes Mr M, I’m cumming , I am cumming for you . Aaaahhhhhhhh YEEEEEESSSSSSS Mr MMMMMMMMMM.” Buffy screamed at the top of her voice. My cock started to get hard. I wanted to see this beautiful specimen of a woman in her prime and in her primal state. I reached for the handle. I turned and the door opened it just a touch. I peeked inside.
Buffy was laying on the bed with her legs spread wide. She was completely naked, except for the headphones attached to her mobile that lay next to her. Her breasts were as firm as teenagers and her nipples stood tall. One of her hands was pulling and massaging her nipples one at a time in rhythm to the way she was feeding her pussy with the large black dildo she held in her other hand.
“Yes I will be a good girl, I will. Can I cum again for you again please please can I?” she begged
I ‘m not sure what Dad told her but she erupted instantly screaming loud “Aaaaaaggrrrr fuck yessss! I want it deep inside me, fuck me Mr M fuck me!” Buffy screamed as she thrashed her head about on their large bed continuing to work her nipples and her dildo at the same time.
“More! I want more please!” she begged. I took out my phone and started to record her. She was hot. Better then any pay per view porn session, and she was in my house live. I dropped to the floor with one hand in my pants as I continued to tape and watch her play.
“OK Mr M I will put my toys away and wait to I hear from you tomorrow. Thank you for letting me please you tonight. I can’t wait until you come back Mr M my body aches for you. I need you sooooo bad.” she said then hung up the call. Then she kept talking. “No more! Is he fucking kidding, I need a fucking my cunt’s just getting warmed up.” She picked up the phone again and looked through her contacts. Choosing a number she reset her headphones.
“Charles what are you doing?” she said. She listened as did I. “Well get over here I need to be fucked and Mr Fucking 5 minutes is overseas. Come and bring that big fucking cock with you. I am so fucking horny. Get over here I will make it worth your while my ass is so in need of a work out and I know how you enjoy my ass.” she said really slow and sexy.
Buffy hung up the phone, reached over the bed and took out a buzzer from the bottom draw. Wow her butt was sexy and I couldn’t help but want to be the person to fill it. Anyway who the fuck was Charles? And what the fuck did she think she was doing bring people into our fucking house the little slut!
My temper got the better of me and I pushed open the door. Buffy pulled the covers over herself “James what are you doing? Get out! This is my room. How dare you burst in!” she screamed although half hearted.
“How dare I? You little slut – how fucking dare I? Don’t give me your shit!” I pressed play on my phone and tossed it on the bed next to her. ‘Just get the fuck over here’ she heard her words play loud and clear.
“How dare I?” I said.
“I don’t know… I… James…” she pleaded.
I interrupted. “This is how it’s going to go. Firstly you can toss the covers off you as you won’t be needing them. Then you can call Charles and tell him he won’t be needed. Then you will come to me on this chair where I will spank that little ass of your red. Then I will have my way with you, and that fucking sexy ass of yours.” She dropped the covers knowing she was caught.
“Yes James.” She said without a fight. She dialled. “Change of plan Charles, sorry you’re not needed.” She said and hung up before he could respond. Buffy stood and started to walk to me.
“Stop! On your knees that’s where you belong. Go on get down.” I said.
Buffy dropped to her knees, I slid my pants off and tossed them aside and undid my button up cotton white shirt. “Come on.” I said leaving her with no confusion about who was in charge here. Buffy reached my legs and looked at me like a naughty school girl who’d been caught out. “Well make sure you do a good job and who knows maybe we don’t have to tell Dad.”
Her eyes lit up and she crawled to me and and engulfed the end of my cock in her mouth. She sucked hard and took it in as deep as she could without gagging. My hands grabbed the back of her head and held her hair I stated to use her face to suck and fuck my cock. “Now that is a good girl. Ohhhh yes, a really good girl.” I said rolling back on the chair – her body moving with me so she didn’t lose contact with my cock. She continued to suck.
“Oh you are such a naughty girl Buffy. I hope, yes I really hope that was the first time you invited someone back here for sex. Gee this is where we live!” Her eyes told the story without her saying a word. “Maybe the staff get turns as well?” I suggested. Again she just looked.
I pulled her up by the hair and pushed her over the chair I was sitting on. “Oh James you are so much more powerful than your Dad.” she said in a submissive voice. Her words made my cock pulse. I buried two fingers inside her hot snatch and pumped them into her.
“Yes James yes, finger me, finger my hole!” she screamed “Ooooooooooooo fuuuucccckkkk Jammmeeesssss finger fuck me! Finger fuck my pussy!” I worked my fingers in and out of her cunt and slapped her ass cheeks as I went. The slaps only heightened her desire. Then she came. Her body shook and her pussy juiced. She screamed “Aaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh oooohhhhh don’t stop don’t stop aaaarrgggg oooohhhh aarrrgg yyeessss fuck! Yes fuck! Yes!” she continued to scream until the pleasure pulses released her from their grasp. “Oh James I need your cock. Please James! I need that cock inside me.” she said breathlessly. I walked to the bed she followed like a eager puppy about to be fed and my cock was on the menu.
“On you back and spread your legs wide.” My words were commands not questions or statements. Buffy lay on her back and I grabbed her legs and pulled her to the end of the bed, her silk sheets and covers falling onto my feet, as I put her into the position I wanted. “Open them wide.” I say. Buffy obliged her pussy bald and glistening, her lips red and apart. Her hole, the pleasure path, was still slightly open from her dildo fucking and my fingers. I rubbed the head of my cock on the edge of her pleasure place then slid in one go all the way to the shaft. If Dad’s genes gave me anything it was a big cock and there was nothing better than getting it inside a woman.
“Oh fuck James that is fucking huge! I am so fucking full.” She said.
“Be a good girl Buffy show.” I said wanting total control of her now.
“Yes James yes I will be a good girl . I will for you just y…” I pulled out and slammed my cock back inside and her words got lost in the action. I pulled her legs open as wide as possible and continued to fuck her hot sexy hole. Again and again I delved inside her. “Now play with your clit as I fuck you.” I commanded. Her hand reached for a pillow and she put it under her head.
“I want to see you , I want to see what you are doing to me.” she said as her hand reached for her pleasure bud. The reward was instant, her pussy walls closed tighter around me as I continued to fill her. I now fucked harder and faster. “I’m aaaaarrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh!” she screamed. I was only at quarter pace – her hole needed a fucking and I was going to give it to her. I stepped up the pace and Buffy’s pleasure ride stepped into second gear as another wave crashed through her senses. Or maybe it was the same as before. All I know was the harder I slammed myself into her the more she liked it, and the more she liked it the tighter her pussy got.
“Take that you fucking naughty little bitch take it!” The more I spoke and the harder I fucked the tighter she got. “Take that, take it!” I said over and over as if I was purging demons as I pounded myself into her. Feeling that unmistakable feeling, welling inside me of my bliss on its way. I stopped and pulled out.
“So what did you say about your ass not being fucked in ages?” I said.
“Oh James you are so fucking big. I haven’t had anyone that big inside me before. Not up my ass.” she said hoping I would change my mind and take pity on her. I didn’t.
“There is always a first time. Maybe we can get it ready for Mr M, or Charles or the driver or whoever else you let stick things inside you.” I said making it clear there was no way out of it. I pushed her legs back and told her to hold them tight. Still standing at the end of the bed I used Buffy’s own cum juices to lube her tight little ass. Then holding my cock at the base I pushed my meat into her ass. Fuck it was tight. I could see the strain on Buffy’s face but that made me even more eager. She was a slut who fucked others in my fucking house. Now I was getting my share.
“Oh you’re big! Oh you’re fuckingggggg big! Sloowww slow please James slow. I will take you I promise just start sloe please.
I slowed down and felt the feeling of her ass grip the end of my cock as the head slid in. It gripped me like a vice.
“Please I need to open my leg please James can I open my legs please?” she begged her eyes pleading with me.
“Yes just until I’m all the way in and then they go back to where they are.” I said sternly.
“Oh thank you!” she said as she let go of her legs and spread them wide. “Oh fuck slooooooowwww!” she screamed as she felt me slide into her. As she opened her legs my cock slipped more into her I continued to pump with slow pumps until I was all the way in to the hilt.
Her eyes were wide and she could barely speak. “Oh fuck James that is so good sooo full so fucking full. Oh please fuck it! Please jam fuck my ass!”
“Who’s ass?” I yelled as I shoved myself into her hard.
“Yours James! Your ass!” She cried. “Fuck it James, fuck your ass you own it now.” she screamed. I started to slide in and out using full long slow strokes all the way out just so only the head of my cock stayed in her ass hole and all the way back in until the base met her pelvis.
“Yes that is nice Buffy that is really fucking nice.” I said as I took in full the pleasure of her tight hole.
“Your Dad won’t fuck my ass- he is too old-fashioned and I need it so bad sometimes.” she said.
I grabbed her legs and put them back together. This made her tighter and increased my pleasure tenfold. “Hold them don’t let them go.” I said
“I won’t James, I promise I won’t.” she said putting her arms around her legs.
“OK that’s a good girl.” I said as I started to increase my pace. I set myself on track for heaven taking stops at joyville and lust-haven on the way as Buffy came and came thanks to my relentless hard and fast pounding.
“Yes Oh fuck that’s sooo good!” I screamed. “Your fucking ass is so amazing. You take it like a good girl.” I shouted
“Good girl, good girl, yes I’m a goooooooooddd girllllllll!” she screamed as her body shook with another intense orgasm. Her orgasm took me on a ride there was no return from. I felt the tingles in my toes and they shot off throughout my system all culminating at the base of my shaft that was now deep inside Buffy’s well fucked ass. I grabbed hold of her hips and pulled her closer to me and allowed my body to take over. I felt load after load of hot cum spurt deep inside Buffy’s now well fucked ass. I pumped until every drop was extinguished from inside me.
I was soaked with sweat and my cock flicked with pleasure. Buffy who rolled around on her silk sheets enjoying the last throws of pleasure still sweeping through her body.
“James that was incredible” she said. “Wonderful, amazing! I am so well fucked – it’s been so long since I was so well fucked. Thank you.” she said, well pleased with herself. I stood up now and moved to the end of the bed.
“You are going to receive 10 of the best.” I reached over for my pants and removed my belt.
Buffy’s eyes pleaded ‘No!’ but she got into position. Smack! Smack! Smack! Ten slaps of the belt rained across her ass. Five on each side. Buffy fell to her knees with cum now dripping out of her ass.
“Next time you need a fucking you come and see me. No mire strangers in my house. You understand?” I asked.
“Yes James, no more strangers” she agreed.
“I don’t care who fucks you, but from now on, while you are here under our roof your ass is solely mine. Do you understand?”
“Yes James I wouldn’t want it any other way.” she said true of heart.
I smiled and picked up my clothes and phone and headed out of the door.
“Oh James.” she purred. I turned and looked Buffy was still on her knees … “Thank you. Same time tomorrow?” she asked with a smile.
REAL LIFE STORIES: I slept with my daughter’s boyfriend
Trapped and lonely after almost 20 years of marriage, Mary-Jane Clare faced temptation – and couldn’t resist. Here the 39-year-old mum-of-six from Oxford recalls the affair that tore her family apart.
‘Sitting side-by side on the couch his thigh brushed mine. I knew it was wrong but it was thrilling and dangerous and I couldn’t fight the passion.
I’d been married to Mark for 18 years and we had six children, but our relationship had turned stale. We hardly talked and rarely had sex.
Even when we did it was dull. I would just lie there, thinking about what I was going to give the kids for tea.
I was crying out for attention and when David noticed me, I couldn’t resist. There was only one problem – he was my 18-year-old daughter’s boyfriend. Vikki met David, 20, at school. He seemed nice and I was pleased she had found herself a decent boyfriend. The three of us would do puzzles or watch TV while Mark was at work in the evenings.
After a while we agreed that David could move in and they were old enough to share a room. Vikki was ecstatic, and it felt great to be able to make them both so happy.
David was unemployed and would spend the day at home with me as I looked after my four youngest children.
Then one day I was taking time away from the chores when I logged on to the internet and a message popped up on my screen from David, who must have been online in the other room.
“I hope you’re taking a well-earned break,” it said. “Just a little one, and then straight back to it,” I replied.
It seemed silly to be emailing each other from rooms in the same house, but I soon realised that David needed to tell me something he wasn’t able to say face-to-face.
“I can’t help thinking there might be something between us,” he said. “Do you like me?”
I thought back to all the times when I had caught his eye and he gave me a sneaky wink and the way he would lean in really close when we talked.
I’d wondered if there was anything in it, but dismissed it, telling myself I was just lonely.
And anyway, he was my daughter’s boyfriend…
But here he was, telling me he cared for me. I couldn’t remember the last time my husband had told me that.
I nervously typed “yes” and soon I found myself telling him how lonely and unhappy I was in my marriage.
David really seemed to care about me and as we talked my feelings grew. But we were still only able to express our secrets online.
Until, after two days of online talking, I decided to act. I knew I should feel guilty but all I could see was the chance for happiness so I walked into his and Vikki’s bedroom.
We still couldn’t say the words we wanted to out loud. Instead we slowly peeled off each other’s clothes and made love. It was fun and exciting, but mostly it felt good to be wanted by a man – a young one at that. I was almost 40 and David was 19 years younger than me.
I never stopped loving my husband, but I knew I was falling in love with David. “This is cosy,” he grinned afterwards, kissing me as we lay together in my daughter’s bed.
Only a few days after we had sex, we all went to a karaoke night at the local community club.
Seeing Vikki with David, I was suddenly overcome by guilt. Not only had I cheated on my husband, but I was in love with my daughter’s boyfriend.
Needing to get it off my chest, I confided in a friend. I told her I was thinking of leaving Mark, when a voice bellowed over my shoulder “You cheated on my dad!”
It was my oldest daughter, Kayley. “What?” I heard Vikki gasp as Kayley told her what she’d heard. “Mum and my David?”
Vikki marched towards me. I knew guilt was etched all over my face, there was no denying it now. Mark stood, stony-faced, even now he can’t tell me how he felt at that moment. I don’t know how, but I took David by the arm and announced that I was moving out with him and taking the kids with me.
I couldn’t look at Vikki, but David mouthed “I’m sorry,” as we walked by. We moved out straight away, and even when Vikki called my mobile the next day, I didn’t allow myself to think about how she might be feeling.
I had spent so many years thinking of my family. “Don’t worry,” David told me. “I’ll look after you now.”
Then, a couple of days later, Mark turned up at the door looking devastated.
But he didn’t have anything to say. I wanted him to beg me to go back, to show me he wanted me, but he didn’t, so I asked him to leave.
I missed him and Vikki but David seemed to offer so much more.
But David still didn’t have a job and money was tight. In the end I had no choice but to take my children back home.
Mark ignored me and Vikki seemed to hate me but I knew it was all my own fault.
But I missed David and I could barely believe it when Mark agreed to my suggestion that he move in. Soon David and I spent our time upstairs having sex in our room while Mark and Vikki sat downstairs watching TV.
I never stopped to think what I was doing to them until one day, Mark snapped and threw us out. This time I had to leave the children with Mark and it broke my heart. But me and David were happy and he promised to stand by me.
In the street people stared, but we ignored it. I was determined to prove everyone wrong. But David started spending too much of the little money we had on booze.
I’m not sure what made me come to my senses, but when David was out buying milk, I found myself calling home.
Mark answered, and I told him that David had changed and I was worried about his drinking. “Pack your bags, and come home before he tries to talk you out of it,” he said.
He was finally putting his foot down. I wasn’t sure if he could forgive me but he was showing some fight. Back home I kept saying: “I’m so sorry”. It wasn’t enough but I hoped that given time, I could make it up to them. It wasn’t that simple for me and Vikki. She moved out and refused to forgive me. I know how terrible my betrayal was and I’m not expecting anything soon.
Mark and I had a long talk and I told him how I’d felt before starting the affair with David. Finally, he showed me the love and affection I’d craved for so many years.
Now we make a big effort to talk and express our feelings. We go out for long walks and our sex life is better than ever.
I realise my affair was the biggest mistake of my life and I feel so lucky my husband was took me back. Not many men could find it in their hearts.’
David says: “I regret my relationship with Mary-Jane. We should have left it as a one-night stand, but we pursued a relationship that was never going to work.
SEX CONFESSIONS: The First Time I Had Sex For Money
When people think of a prostitute they generally visualise a woman in a short skirt and fishnet stockings walking the street, getting into strangers cars. They also think that the women who do this kind of work are uneducated, from low socioeconomic backgrounds, drugs addicts – the list goes on. People also think that the only type of clients who see prostitutes are dirty, unattractive, seedy old men.
Well, let me shatter any preconceptions you may have and fill you in on the truth.
I didn’t grow up in a poor household but we certainly weren’t rich. I came from a middle-class family and I was educated at private schools.
My parents divorced when I was thirteen. My mum ran off with another man and my dad started having sex with anything that moved.
I started becoming curious about sex and became sexually active in my early teens. I ran away from home a few years later and I started dating different guys. I was essentially sleeping with them to keep a roof over my head.
It was at this point, at around sixteen years old, that I first thought about exchanging sex for money. I mean, I was already sleeping with men so that I would have food and somewhere to stay – why not just sleep with them and get actual cash money?
I had seen some advertisements in the local newspaper for some pretty classy parlours and when I called, they asked me how old I was and I told them the truth. Sadly, they told me to call back in a couple of years once I was eighteen.
I put the thought to the back of my mind and pretty much forgot about it – until I was eighteen and down to my last R500.
Being a full time student and supporting yourself living out of home isn’t easy. I tried to find work that would fit in with my hours at college but no one would hire me. While I was flipping through the newspaper looking for a job, I came across the adult section once again.
I found an advertisement for what looked like a decent place. I called the number and a softly spoken yet husky sounding receptionist answered. I told her that I was looking for work and she gave me some more information about the job. She seemed nice and made me feel comfortable and at ease. I was told that I needed to come in for an interview and the receptionist scheduled me in for the very next day.
I was nervous but also excited at the same time and I even thought about cancelling. I tried to convince myself that I was crazy for even contemplating doing that type of work but the fact was, I had R500 to my name and I needed to get an income so that I could continue my studies.
I arrived at the establishment and was met by the sheepish receptionist I had spoken with on the phone. The place was gorgeous. It was modern, clean and even had a fully stocked bar. The owner, an older Italian gentleman introduced himself to me, sat me down, made a cappuccino for me and had a general chat explaining what was expected of me and how much I would get paid. He seemed extremely pleased with me and told me that I could start the very next day.
After leaving the premises, I decided that I had to buy a sexy outfit or some lingerie to wear for my first shift. I found a small boutique lingerie store and found a little dress which was light pink with black pinstripe and had a matching pair of panties. I used the last money I had to purchase the outfit. No chance I could back out now – I had no money left whatsoever and just enough petrol to get me to ‘work.’
I arrived for my first shift and was taken to a room where all the ladies got ready and was also the place where they spent their time in between job. There were only a couple of ladies there as it was early, around 10am. We each applied our make up and put on our lingerie while chatting.
I asked one of the ladies what her first time was like, meaning her first time being paid for sex. She laughed and said ‘I don’t even remember the first.’ Which is odd, because I remember my first – it’s a pretty significant point in your life.
The bell rung which meant that we needed to walk out in a line to present ourselves to the client which made me feel as if we were cattle walking in a line to show off our A+ grade rumps.
I followed the two ladies and we each walked up to the client and introduced ourselves. I had decided to call myself Honey because I had just seen the dance movie with the same name starring Jessica Alba and I had the same style of hair she had in the movie and the same figure, plus it sounded cute.
When I met the client, I was shocked. He was a young, extremely good looking European man. He was wearing a Ferrari jacket, like a race type jacket. We made eye contact, I shook his hand and told him my name to which he smiled back and decided he wanted me.
Wow. This was really happening. We walked to the lavish room together making small talk on the way. The first thing I was told to do at the beginning of a booking was a health check. I had to look around his genitals for any signs of infection or disease, so basically looking for any lumps, bumps, cuts etc. Luckily his personal hygiene was great and he was also clean shaven which made it much easier for the check.
He had a shower and then laid down on the bed. I was nervous, but sex has always come so naturally to me, perhaps it’s the Scorpio in me. I imagined he was just someone I had met in the real world and was having a one night stand with – it worked.
I undressed as he watched, it was a turn on for me to see how hot and bothered he became as I stood there in my nakedness. The fact that this gorgeous guy was also paying me to sleep with him also added to my excitement. It made me feel as if I had a type of power of him. It was really sexy.
I walked over and climbed onto the bed. I began kissing and licking his body from his stomach, next to his belly button, up his torso an onto his nipples. I sucked and nibbled them lightly and then made my way up to his neck, running my tongue up to his ear and gently sucking on his earlobe.
I rolled on a condom while keeping him focused on the pleasure he was feeling from the kisses. He then grabbed my neck and pulled my mouth to his, kissing me deeply, intently and passionately. This took me by surprise, I didn’t think there would be any kissing, after all, that’s what Julia Roberts taught us from Pretty Woman right? ‘No kissing, it’s to personal.’
I worked my way back down his body, to his inner thigh. He shivered and goosebumps appeared over his skin as I ran my tongue up the thigh, to the delicate fold of skin between his leg and genitals.
I took his cock into my mouth and started sucking slowly at first while my tongue traced circles around the top of his shaft. I began moving faster but I could tell he was very close to climax, so I stopped.
I waited a moment for him to calm down and then I climbed on top, straddling him as my pussy slid gently down his sheathed cock.
I began to grind and rock my body back and forth, rubbing my clit on his pubic bone as I moaned – but within 30 seconds, he exploded.
Wait. That was it? I just got paid – for that? That was so easy and it was all over?!
After he came, I told him to lay on his stomach so that I could give him a massage and while I was rubbing his back, we talked about him. He told me he was a race car driver which I naively believed at first, but over time, I realised all men come prepared with a story they can tell the woman, to wow us, to make him feel more important. This clients fantasy was that he was a masculine, race car driver. Good for him.
We both showered, he thanked me and then he left not long after that. I went back into the change room and sat down whilst comprehending the events that had just unfolded. ‘Wow. That was nothing to be scared of. I think I am going to enjoy this work,’ I thought to myself.
Over the years, I have worked in many different types of adult jobs. I have been a sex worker, an erotic masseuse, a stripper, a web cam model and a few other things.
So – back to the beginning of the story! I am an educated woman, from a middle class family, I didn’t become a sex worker because of drugs or because someone forced me into it. Sure the circumstances were that I needed the money to support myself while studying, but I assume money is generally the reason anybody gets into sex work. I have never walked the streets or done anything that goes against my morals and I’ve never let a client degrade me.
The clients that see women in the adult industry vary. They vary in age, ethnicity, size and shape but one things applies to the majority of them – they are normal, everyday people. They are husbands, boyfriends and fathers. Some work in an office while others work in a physical job like construction. Some are high powered at the top of the chain and others are just entry level.
They can be anyone and they don’t just see sex workers for sexual relief. At times, some just want to feel the affection that they aren’t getting from their partner anymore, or to feel that they have someone to listen to their problems and help try to make them feel better.
The clients are normal people, just as sex workers are. You’ve probably noticed I’m using the term ‘Sex Worker.’ That is because that is what we should be called, because that is what we are to our clients. To them we are not just sex on a stick – we are their girlfriend or wife, we are their therapist or life coach, we are their friend in their time of need – even if it’s only for the hour.
CONFESSIONS: Here’s What Happened When I Slept With My Best Friend
Neither of us intended for it to happen.
Katie had been my best friend since childhood. It was a friendship first orchestrated by our parents. We ran around in our diapers and watched Barney, or whatever it is you do when you’re a very small human. We attended each other’s birthday parties and continued having playdates, even when we learned about cooties.
I don’t remember a time in my life when Katie wasn’t part of it.
There’s this thing that happens when you’re a heterosexual guy and one of your closest friends is a girl: you think about fucking her.
I know that sounds gross. Sometimes we men are gross. It doesn’t mean you ever act on it. It also doesn’t mean you aren’t capable of a genuine friendship. But yes, it’s something that you think about at least once. It’ll cross your mind.
The first time I looked at Katie differently was during puberty. I could blame the hormones, but Katie’s also just an obscenely beautiful person. And not just physically. Katie is kind and sweet and everything that equates to perfect Girl Next Door.
But she was my best friend and any inappropriate thoughts I had I learned to control. That’s just what you do when you have a super hot friend. You train yourself to not focus on the hotness.
I was sort of the Gordo to her Lizzie McGuire.
Yeah, I thought she was cute, but most importantly, she was my friend. We survived high school together. Instead of attending our prom, we held our own very 90s movie inspired Anti-Prom Prom. She wore all black and I wore my converse. We ate popcorn and watched shitty movies all night. It was perfect. I couldn’t have imagined a better night.
When it was time for college, we landed at schools in different time zones. I was accepted to NYU and she went to The University of Texas at Austin. It was the first time we’d been apart for that length of time. We promised to stay in touch and Facetime and text. But college happens and we got sucked into our new lives.
The contact became less frequent. We weren’t talking on the phone anymore. It was a ‘like’ here or there. Someone would send a text about something crazy that happened, but the conversation would quickly fizzle out.
During our sophomore year, we were both home for winter vacation. The previous year she’d gone away with her family and spent the summer break in a study abroad program. We’d barely seen each other since leaving for college. But we were both home for a month at the same time so she texted me about catching up. I picked her up from the airport and was pleasantly surprised at how quickly we fell back into a familiar pattern. It was like no time had passed. She was still the same Katie that had been my best friend my whole life.
One night, whatever was left of our group of high school friends congregated in our stoner friend Paul’s garage. His parents were always pretty lax about what we did and unless something was on fire didn’t even check in. Katie made everyone screwdrivers and we spent the night reminiscing and being obnoxious.
By 3 am, people were starting to fall asleep or call Ubers to go home. Despite being bartender for the night, Katie wasn’t drinking. Her mom was a recovering alcoholic so Katie preferred to stay sober. I was a shade under tipsy. Wouldn’t have driven but definitely wasn’t drunk. Katie offered to drive me home.
During the drive, she told me about a guy she met in one of her classes. They’d apparently hooked up a few times and she liked him, but wasn’t really sure what he felt. I gave her my standard advice (“Guys are terrible, don’t trust them”) and she laughed.
“Why can’t they all be like you?”
I don’t know if it was all the time away from each other or the fact that I’d been awake for nearly 24 hours, but I couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to kiss her. She has these heart shaped lips that always form such a perfect pout. I wondered if they were soft. I could kiss her gently. I could slam her against the wall, if that’s what she wanted.
A mile or so from my house, Katie suddenly veered left. To get to my house, you go right. I asked if she forgot where she was going.
She shot me back this smile I hadn’t seen from her before. Never intended for me, that is. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she was flirting with me. And turns out, she was.
She pulled over on a street that dead ends. There weren’t any streetlights and I assumed everyone in the nearby houses were sleeping, so it was practically total darkness. We were both silent.
I wanted to kiss her and had she been anyone else, I would have made my move instantly. But this was Katie. The girl I had sleepovers with when I was nine and brought me soup and the homework I missed when I was out of school for a month with mono. This was Katie.
I awkwardly fumbled and started talking Netflix’s TV model and how eventually cable will be a thing of the past because apparently that was worthy of mentioning?? But Katie stepped in. She kissed me. And I kissed her back. It went from there.
I’ll spare you the details because hooking up in a car is never as sexy as it’s advertised to be. But there was something undeniable about it: Katie and I had something. Whatever our relationship had been, well, it was different now.
I could tell you about what happened after. I could tell you about the nervous giggling and the week of pretending nothing happened. I could tell you about going back to college and missing her. I could tell you about the phone call at midnight. I could tell you about deciding we were going to visit each other. I could tell you about flying to see her in Texas. I could tell you about the confessions and the kissing and the sex in places that weren’t cars. But that would take far too long. And you’re not interested in hearing years worth of stories.
But what I will tell you? Katie and I effectively ruined our platonic friendship that night.
Because we’re getting married this summer.