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Dear Lira

DEAR LIRA: I had a threesome with my girlfriend’s mum— I’m worried she’ll find out

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DEAR LIRA: WHEN my girlfriend introduced me to her mum, I realised she was the woman my mate and I had a brilliant threesome with after a night out clubbing.

I am 27 and my girlfriend is 22. We have been seeing each other for three months and things seem to be going really well. We both agree it is the best relationship we have ever been in.

She finally got me to meet her mum and dad a couple of weeks ago. I couldn’t believe it when I was introduced to her mum and realised how we had met before. I was out clubbing with a mate — Grab A Granny Night, we call it. We met this really hot woman who I now know is 46. We danced and chatted to her all night.

She was with a group of other women but they went on somewhere else and she stayed on with us. She was staying in town and invited us back to her hotel room at the end of the night.We carried on drinking and it was an unbelievable night. She did anything and everything with both of us sexually.

We couldn’t believe our luck — no-strings sex with a married, good-looking woman.The sex lasted all night. She was awesome. We said our goodbyes and never saw her again — until now. Not surprisingly, my mate and I still talk about it.

You can imagine how I felt when my girlfriend said: “. . . and this is my mum.” I’m not sure whether she remembers me but I know my mate would never forget her. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t want to finish with my girlfriend but it seems too difficult to be with her now.

Even if her mum and I never mention it, my mate will give me a load of banter about it.

LIRA SAYS  If you really care for your girlfriend and see a future with her, there is probably no need to end your relationship, as long as you can be discreet.

You were not with your girlfriend at the time but she would no doubt be horrified at what her mum got up to with you.There is also a risk her dad would find out – and that could spell the end of their marriage.

So your girlfriend’s mum is more than likely keeping her fingers crossed that you will keep what happened to yourself – for ever.If she says she has recognised you too, tell her you want to forget all about that night because you love her daughter and want the relationship to continue.

I am sure that she will be relieved. Talk to your mate and say you expect him to say nothing either because you love your girlfriend.

I hope he can keep a secret too.

 

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Dear Lira

SIBLING ATTRACTION: I am deeply in love with my half-sister even though I am engaged

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She had married and had a girl. She is now 22.

I was nervous but the family were warm and friendly. My half-sister was kind and very attractive. There seems to be such a bond between us.

I can’t stop thinking about her in a sexual way. Neither of us has mentioned that night but I think more about her than I do my fiancée.

LIRA SAYS: A strong attraction to a sibling you haven’t grown up with is a well-known phenomenon.

But I am afraid that a sexual relationship with your newly found half-sister is against the law. It counts as incest.

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Dear Lira

DEAR LIRA: I met my girlfriend’s parents and realised I once slept with her father

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Five years ago, I went through a bi phase and used to sleep around with pretty much everyone that came along, including other men. This changed when I fell in love with my new partner, who is everything to me. I recently met her parents and halfway through lunch realised that I had slept with her father. I was going to propose, but when my partner and her mother were away, he told me to end it with his daughter. I’m obviously in love – shall I just ignore him, or tell my partner?

I am not sure you could ever have a comfortable future with your new partner. To tell the truth would be to court disaster: a probable break-up, plus the risk of a permanent rift between father and daughter and father and wife. Hiding the truth would lead to toxic secret-keeping that could be equally destructive in the long run. If this whole family was as open-minded and sexually open as you, it might be possible for you to become part of it. However, the father – your former lover – has made it clear that you will not be welcome. Walk away now, and avoid the massive pain that would otherwise be inflicted on your partner, her family and yourself.

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Dear Lira

DEAR LIRA!!! I want to be with my lover full-time but that seems like an impossible dream

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AFTER 27 years of marriage, I have fallen in love for the first time. I want to be with my lover full-time but that seems like an impossible dream.

My husband and I are both 51. For the past few years he’s had problems performing in bed. Sex became a chore so we gave up. I realised in time I still wanted intimacy in my life but those sad, sleazy websites for cheats are not for me.

Then my boss sent me on a training course. It included an overnight stay and that’s when my love life fell into place. I went to a bar in the evening and got chatted up by this wonderful man. He’s two years older than me and it was like we had already met in a previous life.

We had sex that night. It was intense and wonderful. We hugged as we parted the next day. He lives up north and I live in London but we still exchanged numbers and hoped for the best. He texted me later that day and every day since.

It’s hard to arrange but we’ve managed to meet up three times. The sex is like nothing I have ever experienced before. It gets better each time and we’ve fallen in love. His wife found out about us but she has a good lifestyle she won’t throw away.

My husband found out but he hates making waves and agreed we could meet now and then. I want to leave him and be with the man that I love. I live on edge, hoping my husband won’t see all the emails I send to my lover, then sometimes wishing he would.

There seems no solution to this. I’ve got two daughters and my lover has sons. They are no longer children but are still young enough to be hurt.

Dear Naledi

You are playing with fire and living on dreams.

You’ve sent lots of emails and texts but have only met up with your lover four times. Is that enough to know he is The One? It seems more likely to me that you are using each other as a distraction from your lacklustre marriages. That isn’t unusual but keep your eyes open in case this backfires.

What if your husband decides that enough is enough, that he can’t stand you cheating and finds somebody else? What if your lover puts pressure on you to leave home?I’m not sure you want that as much as you say.

Suggest that you take a break from each other – for three months, say – while you give your life-partners the time and attention they need. Ask your husband to see his GP in case he has a medical problem that needs sorting.

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