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DEAR LIRA: I’m torn between my girlfriend and amazing sex with her flatmate — I feel guilty about cheating on her

DEAR LIRA: I HAD an amazing night of sex with my girlfriend’s flatmate.

She now says she wants a full-blown affair with me.

She is really imaginative in bed and I am tempted.

My regular girlfriend and I are on and off like a light switch. I’ve cheated on her, she’s cheated on me.

When it is good, it is great but when things are not going right, being with her is a drag.

We have been together for more than a year now.

She is 24 and shares a flat with two other girls. I share with my older brother and another guy. I am 26.

 We had a real connection and ripped each other's clothes off

We had a real connection and ripped each other’s clothes off

Our last row was over me finding her texting her ex — she had cheated on me with him before.

One night my girlfriend and her flatmate came round to my flat when my brother and flatmate were out.

They had some weed and invited me to join them for a smoke which sounded wonderful after the rotten day I’d had at work.

I got talking with the flatmate, who is 23, and we discovered we had a lot in common — dads who gambled and mums who drank.

 Our infidelity has made me question what I want

Our infidelity has made me question what I want

We instantly connected. My girlfriend got really out of it so I took her home to bed, and then her flatmate and I sat talking.

In no time we were kissing on the sofa. We both knew what we wanted so we moved into the bedroom, tearing off our clothes on the way.

The sex was mind-blowing and we were at it all night.

My girlfriend and I have since talked seriously about our relationship.

She swears she never did anything with her ex.

I find that hard to believe but we have decided to give things another go.

I regret it already. Her flatmate has been texting me, wanting to meet again.

She said she had always fancied me and is offering herself on a plate, with no strings.

It is a better prospect than waiting for the next row with my girlfriend but I feel guilty, knowing I’ve cheated.

On the other hand, when we were having sex the other night, all I could think of was her flatmate.

LIRA SAYS I can see it’s tempting but you need to talk seriously to both girls – separately.

Does your girlfriend’s flatmate realise that a fling with you will almost certainly mean either she or your girlfriend will have to move out?

It is a big upheaval for some no-strings sex.

Even if she is still up for ongoing sex, say she needs to take a step back while you sort things out with your girlfriend, one way or another.

Talk to your girlfriend again. Can you realistically make it work when you both repeatedly cheat?

It seems neither of you is ready to settle down. If you’re not sure if it will work, better end it than let things messily drag on.

Then you will be free to be with her flatmate – but I’d be amazed if she will be happy with no-strings sex for long.

Once your girlfriend is out of the picture I suspect she will see a vacancy.


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