Are you wondering what she’s really thinking? You’re about to find out. This is part of our series of articles stemming from studies Lulu conducted where they polled women on topics relating to sex and relationships.
The female orgasm is a global mystery, not unlike the Bermuda Triangle — which can certainly be taken literally, should her pubic hair resemble the geometric shape. A man is never 100% sure he can yield one, nor are there foolproof techniques to guarantee he will. However, one thing is certain: When he doesn’t deliver this majestic fable, it’s tragic to his ego.
Since there’s something of a general misunderstanding about the female orgasm among men, helping a woman achieve one is a great accomplishment. Your appendage is now deemed worthy of orgasm, and you’re crowned with bragging rights adorned with shiny jewels of confidence.
Perhaps this common attitude among the male populace is why one user of Lulu (the app used by women to rate men on just about every conceivable trait) asked their advice columnist The Dude: “Why do men go so crazy over making a girl come?” Sensibly, he responds, “Unless we are completely selfish, we like to know that you are enjoying sex. Coming is a good indication of this. That said, most guys don’t realize that women can have a great time during sex without an orgasm.” And he’s right. Only about one-quarter of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse; she needs a lot more than you just thrusting in and out of her like some five-minute jackhammer.
To help us out, Lulu polled their female audience to silence all of our curiosities and let us know for certain: What does it take for her to come?
As was expected, the most popular answer is the hardest to do: “Delicate clitoral stimulation simultaneously with penetration.” This means we have to multi-task — something most guys aren’t great at doing. However, coming in second were the women who’ve never experienced orgasm at all, which further evidences our lack of knowledge.
According to the experts, woman-on-top and rear entry (including reverse cowgirl) give our penis more contact with the front wall of her vagina — which is very, very sensitive and houses the G-spot, a walnut-sized cluster of toe-curling nerves. Another way to get there without GPS is to insert your fingers (start with one, then try two) and perform a “come hither” motion. It might seem weird at first, as if you’re ushering a creature outside of her, but it’s totally worth it. That said, as the results from the poll show, the majority of women can’t come from G-spot stimulation alone, hence why it’s really difficult for a lot of women to orgasm during sex without simultaneous clitoral stimulation.
This is why multi-tasking is crucial.
Here’s how you do it: If you’re going down on her, form a peace sign, apply pressure to both sides of her clitoris and stimulate the hot button with your tongue. As you progress to more intense stimulation, target the left upper quadrant of her clitoris—it’s super sensitive. Also note that there is a hood that covers the clitoris, and, if she’s up for it, pull that up to see how she responds to more direct stimulation. It might be far too sensitive for her, but it’s worth a try to see how she likes it. Clitoral stimulation is also important during sex. It might take a second to find a comfortable position, but it’s worth practicing to get into a groove that works for both of you.
As if you needed more convincing, a study from last year in the Journal of Sex Medicine found 94% of females reported attaining orgasm through clitoral play. Best part being, it’s not just the clitoris itself that gets her going. Three quarters reported the sides of her clitoris were very effective orgasm zones as well, while 64% said they can climax through stimulation below the clitoris. This shows how sensitive the entire area can be, which makes sense, because it contains a whopping 8,000 nerve endings — twice as many as your own junk. Jealous?
So there you have it. Take this knowledge and become the master of her domain. If you happen to apply the tricks above to no avail, the first tip is always to talk to her. Ask her what she likes. If she doesn’t have a lot of experience, it’s possible she’s not even sure, so, if she’s up for it, here are some other techniques to test out: Try incorporating at least 30 minutes of foreplay, breaking out of your routine (try doing it in a hotel), including a vibrator and lube, and last but not least, touching her all over (not just the dirty bits). Got that? Best of luck, gentlemen!