Hype Avenue

Dear Lira ‘My husband died and I fell in love with his cousin’

Questions & Answers

Should I remarry?

I’m 42 years old and lost my husband four years ago. l fell in love with his cousin last year but he wants to get married. I’ve told him I want to be in a relationship but I don’t want to remarry. I suggested he marry someone else – and he did. Can I still only be his partner? Please help, I love him but I’m confused.

Answer

Are you saying you’re considering being the other woman? What are your reasons for not wanting to remarry? Is remarrying such a bad idea that you would consider or promote infidelity instead? Have you thought about the fact the cousin will be cheating on his wife with you? I suggest you give this some proper thought. The man merely wanted to make an honourable woman out of you. It’s either you’re in or out, not in between.

Question

First-love trouble

I’m 39 and have been married for eight years and have two kids. I’m still in love with my high school boyfriend and we’ve been in contact ever since. He married someone else and when I got married, he was in the process of getting a divorce. My marriage has its ups and downs and he’s always there for me if I need a shoulder to cry on. Now he wants me back in his life for good. He loves me and I’ve always loved him but I don’t know what to do. Please help.

Answer

Your first love will always have a special place in your heart, but it doesn’t mean you should give in to your feelings for him, especially if you’re with someone else. Is it worth losing what you have with your husband and the father of your children? Since you’re confused, it’s time for you to look at the pros and cons of pursuing your relationship with your high school sweetheart or your husband. That way you can make a decision that works best for you. Remember, whatever you decide will affect your husband and children

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Question

He’s a serial cheater

I’m a 25-year-old lady who’s involved with a 29-year-old guy. We’ve been dating for four years. He cheats on me all the time and when I find out and confront him he says it’s the last time, but he’s a liar. I recently found out he’s having sex with prostitutes, and it ripped me apart. If I’m not mistaken, he’s cheated on me with 15 girls. I love him with all my heart and we’re renting together.

Answer

If you can do a headcount of the times he has cheated on you, why are you still with him? His actions have made it clear he’s never going to change. He has continuously cheated on you and does not even seem remorseful. Do you even know if he’s been using protection or not in his escapades? Subjecting yourself to more of this behaviour is self-abuse. It’s time you looked out for yourself.

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