DEAR LIRA: I HAVE twice had hot sex with a colleague but I’ve already got a great boyfriend and I never saw myself as a cheat.
I’m 24, my boyfriend is 22 and we have been together for two years. He’s a really sweet guy but a bit immature.When we first met he seemed really keen.However, he then cheated on me just after we had officially started going out.
He is 28 and I have to admit it was lust at first sight. I got the feeling he liked me too.One night we went down the pub after work for a girl’s leaving do. We both got a bit drunk and sneaked off outside for a snog.
One of our workmates came out for a smoke. He laughed and said “Get a room”. He lived nearby and invited a bunch of us back to his place.So we did get a room, after all, and had fabulous sex all through the night.
In the morning, we talked for ages and agreed we lived too far apart for a relationship between us to work.
I didn’t tell my boyfriend what happened that night. I guess in my mind this made it quits with him.This guy worked at our site for one day a week. He would catch my eye and we would smile, but that was all.
Then, the other night, a crowd of us went down the pub and we ended up sleeping together again.
It turns out he has now moved down South and I think he has pinned his hopes on us getting together full-time.
I don’t know what to do and it’s making me feel terrible.
This colleague has no idea I already have a boyfriend and my partner hasn’t got a clue that I’ve been unfaithful.
I am not sure which guy I should be with.
LIRA SAYS: You’re playing your cards so close to your chest that you can’t even see them yourself. What do you want to do?
It’s time to make up your mind and, if it helps, I’d say that your boyfriend, the one you’re with now, isn’t giving you all that you need – or else why are you cheating on him?
If that feels right, tell him – kindly – that you are over but best then leave a month or so for the dust to settle before getting together with the new guy.
It means you can have a clearer idea that he is right for you and not just good on the eye.